Mario is NOT a Hero! is a top 10 video where Nico says why Mario is not really a hero. It is also the first ever "NOT A" video, as well as the most popular video on his channel.
- Nico: November 22 is coming up real fast, and it's gonna be one hell of a day. There are so many things coming out that day! There's the XBox One, there's Zelda: A Link Between World, and last but not least, there's also Super Mario 3D World. You're already aware that I LOVE Mario games, and I cannot wait for this 3D World, as it looks similar to 3D Land for the 3DS, and I loved that one. Mario is often regarded as a hero, someone that is nice to everybody, but Mario actually has some dirty tricks up his sleeve. So after today's video, you will never see Mario the same way you did before. Hey, I'm Nicobbq, and here's my top ten reasons why Mario should not be considered a hero.
- Mario: Mama-Mia!
|10||Mario beats his helpers||"In previous Mario games, Mario would usually rescue the kingdom alone, or he would bring his brother Luigi with him. Recently though, he decided to bring Toads with him. And how does that all turn out? Well, it's a complete CHAOS! Mario's gonna jump on Luigi or the Toads' head when he needs too he will grab them and throw them into a pit of death without any mercy. Now you people make all that fun and stuff, but trust me. There's NOTHING, and I repeat NOTHING fun about getting killed over and over again by that goddamm plumber!"|
|9||Mario is a drug addict||Nico: "During his quest, Mario collects what the game makers call power-ups. These power-ups contains one that is a mushroom. This can be seen as being a magic mushroom, as it makes Mario feel bigger and stronger. But what if Mario collected all those mushrooms because he is addicted. Yes, Mario is a drug addict. He is on a quest to rescue a princess, so he needs all of his head of course. Yet he collects tons of mushrooms. So that's proof that Mario is completely addicted to a drug named magic mushroom."
[a clip from South Park plays]
Mr Mackey: "Now as I was saying, drugs are bad. You shouldn't do drugs. If you do them, you're bad, because drugs are bad m'kay. It's a bad thing to do drugs. So don't be bad."
|8||Mario breaks everything (forcing slaves to build it back)||"A typical Mario adventure goes like this: complete a couple of levels, then enter a castle and defeat the enemy inside. But once he has completed that, it seems that Mario enjoys to completely destroy the castle. Why does he do that? Once the enemies are away from the castle, there's literally no reason to completely destroy it. I mean it's historical landscape, Mario. A king once lived in that castle. Do you really have to destroy everything? I bet all the Toads are going to have to build that back up, while Mario slacks off eating cake."|
|7||Mario is ruining the economy of the Mushroom Kingdom||"Wario is often regarded as the bad version of Mario, being greedy and just wanting more money for his own purpose. But is Mario any better? In every Mario game, you have to collect coins. However, you never used those coins to buy anything. So in the end, Mario keeps all of the money for himself. That also explains why you never see Mario doing his job, plumbing. He doesn't have to do plumbing. He's stealing all of the money lying around in the Mushroom Kingdom. At that rate, he's probably richer than the princess herself. He just hides it very well under that big mustache."|
|6||He treats his brother Luigi like sh*t||"Luigi thrives to be like his brother Mario, because Luigi sees Mario as his hero. Poor Luigi. He's trying so hard to impress Mario, as we can see in his secret diary in the Paper Mario games. How does Mario thank Luigi for always being there for him? By not giving a f*ck. At the end of New Super Mario Bros. Wii, Luigi is being the good guy in keeping the door open for Mario and the princess. And how does he get thanked? By being left there on the ground alone. Even when they're not in an adventure, when they're just playing sports, Mario makes fun of Luigi. Just look at this example from Mario Power Tennis. He pretends to be happy for Luigi, but then he makes fun of him by standing on his feet. He clearly wants to send a message to Luigi. 'Don't mess with my kingdom, boy.'"|
|5||Mario is vengeful||"In the early years of Mario, he used to climb up ladders to rescue Pauline, a random girl, captured by the evil Donkey Kong. Eventually he will rescue her. So at that moment in time, you figured everything would be all right. Well of course not. Mario then decides to capture the monkey, forcing his son to rescue him. Now, what Donkey Kong did may not be nice, but it's not a reason to act the same, Mario. Revenge is never the answer to anything."|
|4||Mario abuses his dino-friend and kills him without any shame||"When Mario and Luigi were babies, they were being carried by a stork to their parents. Unfortunately, something hit the stork, and the babies were left on Yoshi's Island. Fortunately for them, the Yoshi family reunited the babies, and everything went better than expected. That is until Mario grew up. Now, nobody really remembered when they were a baby, so Mario doesn't recall all the help Yoshi brought. But that is not a reason to treat Yoshi like he does! He basically hits Yoshi on the back to force him to do what he wants to do! That's animal abuse right there! And what is worse? If Mario messes up, he will sacrifice his pet friend, just to stay alive. Why Mario? Why? After everything Yoshi did for you. Why?"|
|3||Mario is unfaithful||Nico: "In almost every Mario adventure, Mario saves Princess Peach. That must mean she is his girlfriend right? I mean she bakes him cakes, she kisses him, she seems to enjoy spending time with the dude. Well, Mario also saves other princesses. In Super Mario Land, he saves Princess Daisy. And when he saves her, he proceeds to say 'Oh, Daisy! Daisy!' Then she thanks him, and there are a bunch of little hearts flying around. Uh, wait a minute. How many girlfriends do you have, Mario? Because in the Mario vs. Donkey Kong series, Mario hangs out with a girl named Pauline, who is kind of sexy. Now, I believe in the theory that women and men can be friends and nothing more, but Mario, you already have two women. Can you just enjoy it. Do you really need more?"
Mario: Hee hee! I got it!
|2||Mario kills innocent baby penguins||"There's one mission in Mario 64, in which Mario is meant to save a penguin and its baby. That sounds lovely and nice, and it can be. However, Mario doesn't stop there. Once he brings back the baby penguin to its mother, he receives a power star. So, at that point you'd figure he'd grab the power star and leave the family to enjoy their time spent together. Well NO! Mario then proceeds to grab the baby back from the mother, who tries to defend it the best it can, and then, Mario does the unforgivable. Oh God, I cannot look at this. My God, why would you do that Mario? You monster. Oh my God."|
|1||Mario is a serial killer||"Some of you may think I'm overthinking this whole Mario thingy. So let's go to the original game that started the legacy: Super Mario Bros. Now, this game has no real in-game backstory. It's pure platforming goodness. So Mario cannot do anything wrong in that one, right? Well, according to the game manual, the story goes like this, 'One day the kingdom of the peaceful mushroom people was invaded by the Koopa.' 'The quiet, peace-loving Mushroom People were turned into mere stones, bricks, and the Mushroom Kingdom fell into ruin.' Now excuse me, the mushroom people are Toads, okay? And if they were turned into stones and bricks, does it mean what I think it means? Yes, every time Mario breaks a block, he kills a Toad. HE KILLS ANOTHER HUMAN BEING! Yes, by the time Mario rescued that little single Toad in Castle 1-4, he already killed over FIFTY OTHER TOADS ALREADY! HOW MANY INNOCENT PEOPLE HAVE TO DIE, JUST SO YOU CAN GET YOUR GIRLFRIEND BACK, MARIO?! WHEN ARE YOU GONNA STOP THIS MADNESS?!"|
"Thanks a lot for watching this greatest top ten. Hopefully, you won't take everything so seriously, and just take this video for what it is: a funny video. If you enjoyed it, be sure to like it. And if you want to see more of me, be sure to subscribe. You can share my stuff on Facebook, Twitter, or maybe Google Pl- [pretends to vomit] If you want to see more videos of me, be sure to click here or there, and see you next time."
- This video was copied by a YouTube channel known as StyledTangent6Gaming, who was infamous for copying other videos from Nathaniel Bandy and A+Start.
- Some of the choices on the list were the players' choice.
- This is the most popular video on Nico's channel with about 7,000,000,000 views.
- This video also received the most dislikes, being 20,000.
- Nico also made a sequel to this video, explaining ten more reasons why Mario isn't a hero.